“BERNARD HILL OMFG ORC RUSH!!!!1
ORC LEADER LOL!
BERNARD HILL GAY! FUCK YOU GUYS!!
* BERNARD_HILL HAS LEFT THE GAME
ORC LEADER ROFL! PWN3D!”
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers: The Abridged Script | The Editing Room
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers: The Abridged Script
June 29, 2008The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers: The Abridged Script | The Editing Room
The Hugo Project, Update
March 02, 2008
An update on all those books I've been reading...
New Reynolds on the way...
February 04, 2008
Harry Potter
January 12, 2008
Getting back to Hugo reviews; I've managed to gather all but one (out of print and expensive second hand) but have rather abandoned reading them in order. And reviewing them here. So let's try getting back into the swing of things with the 2001 winner of the Hugo Award.
Unfortunately, the 2001 winner was J.K.Rowling's Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I say unfortunate, not because it is said it won largely on the back of uninformed voters, but because after reading the first three (on occasion I thought I'd read four - for a reason which will shortly be obvious - but on seeing that the Goblet of Fire is large enough to beat whales to death I realised my error) I'd become tired of that which even the notoriously NPOV Wikipedia has to term “a very strict formula” and which I call “same fucking plot”.
The plot in question is a fairly simple one too. Each year, after suffering through living with his lower class guardians, orphaned upper class scion Harry Potter is allowed to return to the exclusive boarding school where he's finally able to once again handle the all-powerful money and play Rugger.
Wait... what? I'm doing what? Sorry... I'll try that again:
Unfortunately, the 2001 winner was J.K.Rowling's Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I say unfortunate, not because it is said it won largely on the back of uninformed voters, but because after reading the first three (on occasion I thought I'd read four - for a reason which will shortly be obvious - but on seeing that the Goblet of Fire is large enough to beat whales to death I realised my error) I'd become tired of that which even the notoriously NPOV Wikipedia has to term “a very strict formula” and which I call “same fucking plot”.
The plot in question is a fairly simple one too. Each year, after suffering through living with his lower class guardians, orphaned upper class scion Harry Potter is allowed to return to the exclusive boarding school where he's finally able to once again handle the all-powerful money and play Rugger.
Wait... what? I'm doing what? Sorry... I'll try that again:
Books I have readed recently
September 10, 2007
The Uplift War, David Brin. Less sure I originally read this now, though I do recall reading some of his stuff in the Uplift universe. A good read though.
Neuromancer, William Gibson. Excellent first book, and the progenitor of an entire genre.
Downbelow Station, C. J. Cherryh. Nice galactic civil war tale, though the noble, wise, pacifist alien race is a touch cliched.
The Snow Queen, Joan D. Vinge. Better than the cover.
The Fountains of Paradise, Arthur C. Clarke. Man versus Buddhists over a bridge to the stars. Lightweight, but could be prophetic (as Clarke's satellites were before).
Rendezvous with Rama, Arthur C. Clarke. Alien vessel passes through the solar system, humans don't really find out much about it.
The Gods Themselves, Isaac Asimov. Two universes discover they can get free energy - but it turns out there is a cost.
To Your Scattered Bodies Go, Philip José Farmer. Weird. Richard Burton (not the actor) wakes up after he died to find himself on a new world where he manages to boff Alice from Alice in Wonderland and fight Hermann Goering.
The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin. Le Guin explores gender politics on the planet Winter, where the inhabitants have been genetically adjusted to wander between the sexes.
Next, Michael Crichton. Crichton has a lot of points he wants to make about genetics. However, he decides to hide them under a plethora of half-conceived plots, characters so broadly drawn they don't deserve the term stereotypes and ugly attacks on people who've criticised him in the past.
The Afghan, Frederick Forsyth. Techno-thriller about how awesome the British and US are at tracking and thwarting terrorists, in large type.
The Terminal Man, Michael Crichton. Better focused work from Crichy. A man who suffers from sudden rages has a device implanted that triggers pleasure sensations when it spots a rage attack - however, he learns to control it without suppressing his rage.
Northern Lights, Philip Pullman. What Rowling wished she could write, a children's book around adult ideas.
Under the Banner of Heaven, John Krakauer. Krakauer investigates what led two brothers to murder a woman and her infant daughter, and if it's related to their Mormon upbringing.
The Prefect, Alastair Reynolds. Another of Reynold's Revelation Space novels, this one exploring an earlier time than most of the others prior to the Melding Plague. Decently awesome.
Neuromancer, William Gibson. Excellent first book, and the progenitor of an entire genre.
Downbelow Station, C. J. Cherryh. Nice galactic civil war tale, though the noble, wise, pacifist alien race is a touch cliched.
The Snow Queen, Joan D. Vinge. Better than the cover.
The Fountains of Paradise, Arthur C. Clarke. Man versus Buddhists over a bridge to the stars. Lightweight, but could be prophetic (as Clarke's satellites were before).
Rendezvous with Rama, Arthur C. Clarke. Alien vessel passes through the solar system, humans don't really find out much about it.
The Gods Themselves, Isaac Asimov. Two universes discover they can get free energy - but it turns out there is a cost.
To Your Scattered Bodies Go, Philip José Farmer. Weird. Richard Burton (not the actor) wakes up after he died to find himself on a new world where he manages to boff Alice from Alice in Wonderland and fight Hermann Goering.
The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin. Le Guin explores gender politics on the planet Winter, where the inhabitants have been genetically adjusted to wander between the sexes.
Next, Michael Crichton. Crichton has a lot of points he wants to make about genetics. However, he decides to hide them under a plethora of half-conceived plots, characters so broadly drawn they don't deserve the term stereotypes and ugly attacks on people who've criticised him in the past.
The Afghan, Frederick Forsyth. Techno-thriller about how awesome the British and US are at tracking and thwarting terrorists, in large type.
The Terminal Man, Michael Crichton. Better focused work from Crichy. A man who suffers from sudden rages has a device implanted that triggers pleasure sensations when it spots a rage attack - however, he learns to control it without suppressing his rage.
Northern Lights, Philip Pullman. What Rowling wished she could write, a children's book around adult ideas.
Under the Banner of Heaven, John Krakauer. Krakauer investigates what led two brothers to murder a woman and her infant daughter, and if it's related to their Mormon upbringing.
The Prefect, Alastair Reynolds. Another of Reynold's Revelation Space novels, this one exploring an earlier time than most of the others prior to the Melding Plague. Decently awesome.
Mayday
August 12, 2007
Mayday, by Nelson DeMille and Thomas Block, is probably the best disaster novel ever written. There are a number of reasons, including that it was written at the tail-end of the 70s and could take in all that could be learnt from movies such as Airport, Airport 1975, Airport '77, Airport '79: Concorde and the classics that are The Poseidon Adventure, The Towering Inferno and Earthquake!
But the hands-down best reason is that it plays on everyone's deep-seated fear of the retarded.
The plot is this: an advanced passenger plane, a Straton something-or-other, which flies at around 62,000 feet is accidentally hit by a dummy missile fired as part of a secret illegal Navy experiment. The missile, which has no warhead, does not destroy the plane, but punches a hole right through it, de-pressurising the plane. Five of the passengers and crew survive this because they were in the toilets, which lost pressure less quickly than the rest of the plane.
Those involved in the secret illegal Navy experiment, when they find out what they've hit and thinking that everyone on board died, want the evidence destroyed. They hold off when they see the plane change course under control of the survivors.
Meanwhile, the five survivors discover that the de-pressurisation didn't kill off their fellow passengers and crew - just turned them into brain-damaged zombies who drool, moan, slur whatever words you say back to you, rape or - in the case of the co-pilot - just really, really, really want to get back into their cockpit where their wheel is.
And when the airline's insurance company rep realizes there are 300 retards on board and his company will have to support them for ever, he hatches a plan with one of the airline's execs to crash the plane over the Pacific...
It's a pretty awesome combination - although a made-for-TV version appears to be hated by all.
But the hands-down best reason is that it plays on everyone's deep-seated fear of the retarded.
The plot is this: an advanced passenger plane, a Straton something-or-other, which flies at around 62,000 feet is accidentally hit by a dummy missile fired as part of a secret illegal Navy experiment. The missile, which has no warhead, does not destroy the plane, but punches a hole right through it, de-pressurising the plane. Five of the passengers and crew survive this because they were in the toilets, which lost pressure less quickly than the rest of the plane.
Those involved in the secret illegal Navy experiment, when they find out what they've hit and thinking that everyone on board died, want the evidence destroyed. They hold off when they see the plane change course under control of the survivors.
Meanwhile, the five survivors discover that the de-pressurisation didn't kill off their fellow passengers and crew - just turned them into brain-damaged zombies who drool, moan, slur whatever words you say back to you, rape or - in the case of the co-pilot - just really, really, really want to get back into their cockpit where their wheel is.
And when the airline's insurance company rep realizes there are 300 retards on board and his company will have to support them for ever, he hatches a plan with one of the airline's execs to crash the plane over the Pacific...
It's a pretty awesome combination - although a made-for-TV version appears to be hated by all.
The Snow Queen
June 17, 2007
Candidate for worst cover ever?
Questions arise... is that actually her arse's colour, or can you get spandex to go that far up your bumcrack? Why is she on her knees in the throes of, if not an orgasm, then some degree of pleasure? What's attached to the right side of her head? What's up with Mr Speedo on the left? He doesn't seem at all happy in his tighty whities and rhino helmet ensemble. And then there's Ms Nipples at the back staring dispassionately camera-left in a floating device that doesn't seem to have any room for either legs nor arms...
Questions arise... is that actually her arse's colour, or can you get spandex to go that far up your bumcrack? Why is she on her knees in the throes of, if not an orgasm, then some degree of pleasure? What's attached to the right side of her head? What's up with Mr Speedo on the left? He doesn't seem at all happy in his tighty whities and rhino helmet ensemble. And then there's Ms Nipples at the back staring dispassionately camera-left in a floating device that doesn't seem to have any room for either legs nor arms...
Anarchy in the Hugo
June 14, 2007
I'd just written a fairly large précis of Ursula K. le Guin's The Dispossessed as part of my ongoing attempt to read all the Hugo winners; then the browser ate it 
So here's a much deeper review that you could ever need, and the last line I wrote, which was “An excellent read; highly recommended.”
So here's a much deeper review that you could ever need, and the last line I wrote, which was “An excellent read; highly recommended.”
in ur libry...
June 09, 2007
..reedin ur hugos.