Ring, ring.
“Thank you for calling TalkTalk. Press 1 for sales. Press 2 to buy something. Press 3 to buy something else. Press 4 for technical support. Press 5 for sales. Press 6 to be disconnected. Press 7 for accounts.”
7
“All of our operatives are current bu...”
“Hi, this is Algernon, can I have your home phone number?”
123 4567 8901
“And what is your account number?”
T123456
“And your full name?”
Oswald McTwistle
“And the first line of your address?”
123 Fake Street
“And your postcode?”
OI8 12
“And how can I help you today?”
I'd like to cancel my account.
“Ah, you need to called the following number to cancel: 0870 123 1234”
Thank you.

Ring, ring.
“Thank you for calling TalkTalk. Press 1 to buy something. Press 2 to buy something else. Press 3 for amusing fart noises. Press 4 for a surprise. Press 5 for our selection of on-hold music. Press 6 to vote for Nikki on Big Brother. Press 7 to vote for the ugly one on Love Island. Press 8 to hate. Press 9 to hear a poem by a depressed Goth. Press 0 if you love pie. Press 00 to hear this menu again. Or wait for any thing else you might want.”
...waits...
“All of our agents are busy, you are being held in a queue.”
...waits...
“You call is important to us. Please wait.”
[time passes]
...waits...
“All of our agents are busy, you are being he...”
“Thank you for calling TalkTalk. My name is Algernon, can I have your home phone number?”
123 4567 8901
“And what is your account number?”
T123456
“And your full name?”
Oswald McTwistle
“And the first line of your address?”
123 Fake Street
“And your postcode?”
OI8 12
“And how can I help you today?”
I'd like to cancel my account.
“The number you need is 0871 123 1234. Please note it down in case you get disconnected after I transfer you.”

Ring, ring.
“All of our agents are busy, you are being held in a queue.”
...waits...
“You call is important to us. Please wait.”
...waits...
“All of our agents are busy, you are being he...”
“Thank you for calling TalkTalk. My name is Algernon, can I have your home phone number?”
123 4567 8901
“And what is your account number?”
T123456
“And your full name?”
Oswald McTwistle
“And the first line of your address?”
123 Fake Street
“And your postcode?”
OI8 12
“And how can I help you today?”
I'd like to cancel my account.
“Could you tell us why you want to cancel?”
I don't need the line any more.
“OK. It'll be canceled as of 4pm tomorrow.”