Saturday... paraphrased

Them: Welcome to Virgin support. How can I help you?
Me: I have no cable TV and the internet connection is down as well.
T: Your cable TV is not working?
M: Yes.
T: Is that your only problem.
M: No... my internet connection is failing as well.
T: What does your TV screen show.
M: It says the channel cannot be found, and there's an error number: 1204.
T: OK. On your screen it shoudl show you a 4-digit error number... what is it?
M: ...1204...

[We go through the usual turn-off-turn-on the cable box malarkey, which causes the cable box to lock up on waiting for the signal it won't get]

T: The earliest we can send an engineer to you is Tuesday.
M: Why are you sending me an engineer? Neither of the boxes are broken - you need to send an engineer to fix the problem at the switch.
T: You don't want an engineer?
M: Not personally... the problem won't exist on Tuesday anyway because you'll have had to send some to fix it before then.

Sunday...

Recorded Message: Thank you for calling the Virgin Support line. Customers in your area may be experiencing a loss of service. We have engineers on site and expect the problem to be fixed in the next hour.