Naturally, the attachment contained a virus.

Hi! I am abuse manager of asacp.org, the organization which fights with the child pornography expansion in Internet. We look through great number of our member's reports. Though we are not governmental organization, we gained a great experience working with FBI. In a number of cases we participate in analyzing of data bases, got from web hosting providers, in order to reveal child porno traffic systems.

I'd like to inform you that investigating activity of the one of child porno sites; we found e-mails data base, in which was your e-mail [something]@auzsoft.net. In view of this, I have two versions: either you are the client of this shop, or your e-mail appeared there accidentally. I sincerely hope that it was accidental coincidence and believe that you are interested in this version as well. If you show a good will, make modest, voluntary donation on our site: http://www.asacp.org/donation.html, I will be convinced in your being not implicated in this business. Don't forget to indicate your e-mail address in the payment comment. In attachment to this letter I sent all the details, showing that your e-mail address found not accidentally in our database. Also there is the list of US law clauses, under which you can be made answerable.

Good luck!

Ring, ring.
“Thank you for calling TalkTalk. Press 1 for sales. Press 2 to buy something. Press 3 to buy something else. Press 4 for technical support. Press 5 for sales. Press 6 to be disconnected. Press 7 for accounts.”
7
“All of our operatives are current bu...”
“Hi, this is Algernon, can I have your home phone number?”
123 4567 8901
“And what is your account number?”
T123456
“And your full name?”
Oswald McTwistle
“And the first line of your address?”
123 Fake Street
“And your postcode?”
OI8 12
“And how can I help you today?”
I'd like to cancel my account.
“Ah, you need to called the following number to cancel: 0870 123 1234”
Thank you.

Ring, ring.
“Thank you for calling TalkTalk. Press 1 to buy something. Press 2 to buy something else. Press 3 for amusing fart noises. Press 4 for a surprise. Press 5 for our selection of on-hold music. Press 6 to vote for Nikki on Big Brother. Press 7 to vote for the ugly one on Love Island. Press 8 to hate. Press 9 to hear a poem by a depressed Goth. Press 0 if you love pie. Press 00 to hear this menu again. Or wait for any thing else you might want.”
...waits...
“All of our agents are busy, you are being held in a queue.”
...waits...
“You call is important to us. Please wait.”
[time passes]
...waits...
“All of our agents are busy, you are being he...”
“Thank you for calling TalkTalk. My name is Algernon, can I have your home phone number?”
123 4567 8901
“And what is your account number?”
T123456
“And your full name?”
Oswald McTwistle
“And the first line of your address?”
123 Fake Street
“And your postcode?”
OI8 12
“And how can I help you today?”
I'd like to cancel my account.
“The number you need is 0871 123 1234. Please note it down in case you get disconnected after I transfer you.”

Ring, ring.
“All of our agents are busy, you are being held in a queue.”
...waits...
“You call is important to us. Please wait.”
...waits...
“All of our agents are busy, you are being he...”
“Thank you for calling TalkTalk. My name is Algernon, can I have your home phone number?”
123 4567 8901
“And what is your account number?”
T123456
“And your full name?”
Oswald McTwistle
“And the first line of your address?”
123 Fake Street
“And your postcode?”
OI8 12
“And how can I help you today?”
I'd like to cancel my account.
“Could you tell us why you want to cancel?”
I don't need the line any more.
“OK. It'll be canceled as of 4pm tomorrow.”

Wednesday: The UK might have to modify its freedoms in the short term in order to prevent their “misuse and abuse” by terrorists, John Reid has said.
Thursday: Everybody Panic!

Reasoned discourse.
The Daily Show take on it all.

Your results:
You are Jean-Luc Picard

Jean-Luc Picard		75%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)		65%
Spock		59%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)		55%
Chekov		45%
Will Riker		40%
Worf		35%
Beverly Crusher		35%
Uhura		35%
Data		27%
Geordi LaForge		20%
Mr. Sulu		20%
James T. Kirk (Captain)		15%
Mr. Scott		10%
Deanna Troi		0%

A lover of Shakespeare and other fine literature. You have a decisive mind and a firm hand in dealing with others.

Click here to take the “Which Star Trek character am I?” quiz...